5 Things I’ve Learned Since Moving Back Home at 24
Parents….Pandemic…yeah
This pandemic, like for most of us, caused several of my plans to be switched around and suddenly I found myself at my parent’s house just days before I turned 24. Here I am 9 months later still riding this stage out and I feel like at this point now I can write about my time here. Here are a few of the things I’ve run into.
- Moms are super humans that do more than seemingly possible in 24 hours.
My mom astounds me with all the things that she does in one day; she cooks, cleans, goes to work, takes my little brother to practices and still manages to sit down at the end of the day to watch the evening news. How?? Coming home I’ve been incredibly spoiled in terms of cooking (I think I’ve cooked 3 meals this whole 9 months… I know bad) and cleaning. Seeing my mom do all of this makes the times I pushed off laundry for a few days seem like the ultimate act of laziness. She’s unlocked the final level of adulthood whereas I’m still at the beginning stages. Maybe I’ll level up after being here and seeing her do it.
2. Your time is not your own anymore.
This may be just my house but my schedule isn’t the same now that I’m at home. I can’t wake up at 6 am if I want an early start (there are people sleeping), I can’t do my laundry whenever (laundry day is Saturday), I can’t stay up until 1 am (noise would wake everyone up). I have to get things done at certain times now because I have family obligations like eating dinner with them, going on walks, going to the store etc. I have to align my time with theirs while also being considerate of the fact that they want to hang out with me too. Perhaps people who had roommates may not feel this as hard as I did but as I’ve only had a roommate once this was a challenge for me.
3. It can be hard to be treated like an adult.
I may be 24 but living at my parent’s house makes me feel like I’m 16 again. It’s a frustrating situation to navigate because I feel like I’ve lost independence I’ve had for the past 6 years. I get yelled at for not emptying the dishes or taking out the trash like when I was 16. I have chores I have to do a certain way or time. It hasn’t registered to my parents that I’m an adult and we can communicate like adults about issues. I think it’s weird for them too, I could honestly pass for 16 (I have a very young looking face, great at times- a burden at others). At the extreme end it feels like a loss of identity in a way and I’m curious as to how I’ll be when I leave. Will I act like when I first left at 18 (Geez- I hope not) or will I just continue on like before this pandemic?
4. I feel lost and weird being home after being away for so long.
My family established their own rhythm of life while I was away at college and work. They have shows they follow (Blackish, The Neighborhood etc.), sports they watch (Lakers), activities they do (walking) and foods they eat certain days (pasta Sundays). While I may be treated like I’m 16, I feel like a complete stranger at times. Especially when I first came and it seems like I had to learn all over again how things are done now. Things are just not done the same as they were before and that feeling of being lost was disconcerting at first. They probably felt the same way because they had another person here that was interrupting what they are used to.
5. I feel very alone.
I live in a relatively small town, with maybe three friends from high school that I’m in touch with still here. It’s incredibly hard not to be living a max of five minutes from any one of my close friends. I can no longer walk over and hang out with someone if I want to, I can’t talk to someone if I need it. My family is great but having friends close for a 24-year-old is a necessity. It may seem silly but I had grown used to that way of life and now I feel like I’m stranded. Throw in a pandemic where you can’t even travel to see them and the loneliness really hits. There are zoom calls, facetimes and messages for which I’m thankful for but those don’t completely compensate for face to face interactions.
I hope someone out there resonates with me on these things, the situation has been weird for everyone this year. But there’s a new year coming and hopefully with it new and better experiences.
